Both classes were amazing! I know... amazing? Two accelerated courses while playing mommy and wife is amazing? Okay, I didn’t pull the wife part off that well. When I wasn’t dealing with the kids, reading, studying, eating, or writing a paper, I was sleeping. So you could say I more or less disappeared from hubby’s view for 6 weeks. There is no doubt it was challenging, but I was oozing eustress the whole quarter. Eustress? Yes, the good stress: stress that feels productive in the end; stress that leads to massive amounts of satisfaction when all is said and done. Eustress! And hey, hubby has forgiven me for neglecting him and still supports my going back to school. Win for Ami!
I was privileged to receive an assignment in my 35mm black and white photography course where I could tie-in a project I had already spent time working on as a personal, digital endeavor: social awareness. We were given an assignment to describe and execute 6-10 photos that depicted a passion of ours. Since my burgeoning passion is photojournalism, specifically social awareness, I opted to do a project on the homeless.
My first and most telling 35mm photo is that of “Marshaun.” I had previously taken a couple photos of him, however they were from a great distance. While powerful, they lacked soul; ultimately this type of depth is what I strive to capture. I felt extremely guilty after having taken those photos because I did so without his expressed permission. Not that I needed it, but I felt it was common courtesy to not only ask, but offer something in exchange.
Previous digital photos of Marshaun
.jpg)
.jpg)
This time around, I had an offering for Marshaun. I brought my arsenal with me: water, crackers with cheese, plain crackers, and cookies. Usually I opt for something with peanut butter, but I was unable to find any at the store I had chosen.
I knew where Marshaun would be; he spends all his time around one area and is never hard to find. When I found him I swallowed my peculiar fear of rejection and walked up and asked if he was hungry. He responded with a smile, "Whatcha got?" I listed off what I thought were types of food he would eagerly accept. Instead, he declined my food but accepted my water. I (perhaps nervously) told him a bit about my project and asked if I could take his photo. With a slightly embarrassed smirk he replied, "No, no pictures." This "conversation" went back and forth for a minute. I made an effort to explain that the purpose of my work was to inspire people to reach out; I wanted to make sure he didn't feel ridiculed or as though I was trying to make a mockery. Finally, he agreed to allow me to take one photo... only if I provided him with a photo of myself. Perhaps he didn't know whom he was dealing with (or perhaps he did?), but I assured him I would get that photo, I would bring it to him, and he better hold up to his end of the bargain.
I know, most people find this incredibly creepy. But I honestly am not concerned about Marshaun trying to find me on the internet and pushing his cart full of belongings to my house to attack me. I went to my mom's house, found a photo online, printed it off and headed back to find him.
When I returned, Marshaun was in the bathroom washing up with soap and applying lotion. When he came out, I think he was a bit surprised to see me - maybe even pleasantly surprised. When he saw my picture, he agreed to let me take one photo as per our agreement. Because I was shooting film, I was really concerned I was going to destroy the shot. I was allowed only one, so I had to get it right. Thankfully, it came out great!
I really pushed to get a shot of Marshaun's cart, but there was clearly a great deal of shame attached to the cart for him. No amount of persuading was going to earn a photograph of the cart and I didn't want to disrespect his feelings, so I let it go.
I would have been quite happy to spend time with Marshaun and have a conversation, but he seemed eager to get into the shade and snooze. I thanked him for his generosity and was on my way.
My other 35mm photos are of less interest, but follow the same general theme. I find 35mm adds an element of depth to these photos that would not otherwise be achieved with digital. I only wish I had a darkroom in my house!
Since Marshaun was not willing to let me photograph his cart, I went ahead and found myself a cart elsewhere. They seem to be everywhere I turn now. I don't know if it is because I'm actually looking for them or if there is an increased influx of homeless as of late. Regardless, they always make me a little sad, even if they were perhaps simply used to get groceries home by someone who doesn't own a car.
This final photo is of the front entrance to the Bill Wilson Center. The Bill Wilson Center, "is committed to working with the community to ensure that every youth has access to the range of services needed to grow to be healthy and self-sufficient adults. Bill Wilson Center has been providing services to runaway and homeless youth since 1973." (http://www.billwilsoncenter.org/about/who.html)
I highly recommend checking out their site and learning more about what they do.
The Scoop
Every single person I know gives somehow. They donate throughout the year, have causes they work with regularly, or volunteer their time in various ways. I want to make very clear that this aspect of my photo-journalistic interest is not driven by any desire to make people feel guilty. I think we should all enjoy our life and our blessings. But as homelessness increases, I believe our ability to compassionately acknowledge those on the street decreases. Much like desensitization due to media, we become accustomed to seeing people on the street; the concept ceases to phase us.
My greatest, personal concern is for those who are mentally ill. Mental illness education is another passion of mine. Yes, a strange one, but for those who know me, it makes perfect sense. I've spent a good portion of the last 10 years researching various disorders. I believe strongly that with proper education and funding, the ill affects of mental illness socially and economically can be greatly reduced. According to the National Coalition for the Homeless, "Approximately 16% of the single adult homeless population suffers from some form of severe and persistent mental illness (U.S. Conference of Mayors, 2005)." Severe and persistant. So this number only accounts for those with schizoaffective disorders, schizophrenia, and severe bipolar disorders (there are many variations, not just one). This is not accounting for those with clinical depression and addiction issues (which are almost always a form of self-medicating another underlying mental health issue). In addition, "Department of Health and Human Services Report, most homeless persons with mental illness do not need to be institutionalized, but can live in the community with the appropriate supportive housing options (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2003). However, many mentally ill homeless people are unable to obtain access to supportive housing and/or other treatment services. The mental health support services most needed include case management, housing, and treatment." (http://www.nationalhomeless.org/factsheets/why.html).
It's all about truth
Photojournalism is designed to touch peoples lives through the truth that is an unaltered photograph. Unlike my photographs associated with my business where aspects may be edited out or changed, butterflies added to children's fingers, or funky editing painstakingly selected, the photos here will be far more "real." Sometimes they'll be fun, sometimes they'll be sad, and sometimes they'll just be plain photojournalist eye candy! Regardless I hope you enjoy the candy and find my essays food for your brain.
