Today I met a man who could have been Marshaun's brother. This man's skin was darkened solely by prolonged sun exposure, however, and looked similar to well-worn leather. His nails were longer than mine have ever been and looked surprisingly thick and strong. He was wrapped in the same fashion as Marshaun; layer upon layer upon layer of tattered gray and black clothing hugged his body as he sweat profusely.
I was at Campbell Park with the boys. As they ran back and forth through the refreshing spray of the water feature, I stared at this man, contemplating in my head whether or not he looked like a threat. Could I go up to him with my children or would the scary man run after us? It didn't take me long to come to the conclusion that, once again, I was making a snap judgment based on what society had taught me growing up. This is what a scary person looks like. This is what a crazy person looks like. This is what a man who intends to harm you looks like. The fact of the matter is, the people who want to harm you often look as benign as your own mother. A person's appearance doesn't determine how they behave.
As soon as I got over myself, I went to my car and grabbed water and snacks and piled them into an empty Trader Joe's kettle corn bag. The kids and I walked over to the man - cautiously (I guess it's a mom thing - I can't shake it!). I noticed him staring off into space and of course created all sorts of ideas in my head as to how he would react to our offer. Surprisingly - or not so surprisingly - we were greeted with a huge grin and articulate conversation.
Like Marshaun, this man declined my sugary snacks. It made me realize that those who have been forced to fend for themselves on the streets for a great deal of time likely have a better sense and understanding of nutrition than your average American; I also realized I need to rethink my snack options! He accepted the kettle corn because even though it contained sugar and salt, it still had decent nutritional content due to the corn. My other snacks were laden with sodium which is obviously not ideal during heat waves or what is shaping up to be an Indian Summer. What he really wanted was water. When he saw the three bottles of water I had to offer, his eyes lit up and he stated, "All I want in life right now is water." Enough said. The boys and I went back to my car to fetch more water for him.
When we went back, I asked Callum to carry one of the bottles and hand it to him. I wanted to instill in him that simply because this man looks different than much of society, that doesn't make him scary. We've tried to teach Callum that the old, white man a couple doors down that drives the taxi is scary... because he is. He is a sex offender with two offenses against children. He looks like your friend's dad. He is the benign-looking one who really does want to harm you. This man with his tattered clothing, sad eyes, and shopping cart full of plastic bags - the one who truly needs compassion from society - is not scary. I was proud to see this 4 year old who is notoriously fearful of so many things simply hand this man a bottle of water without hesitation.
As I was loading the kids into the car, a woman stopped to tell me how happy she was to see us providing the man with water. She had wanted to do the same, but did not have any water with her. I let her know that I always have water in my car with me and snacks for situations such as this; the statement was not a matter of trying to sound self-important, but rather a desire to pass along the concept to someone else.
On the car ride home, I made a point of telling Callum what a great thing he had done by handing the man (who remains nameless simply because I never asked his name) a bottle of water. His response was so simple, yet so meaningful as are so many words spoken by children. With elation, Callum stated, "He even said thank you when I handed him the water!" I believe you should do nice things without expecting anything in return. The fact that he was so pleased that the man said thank you made me smile. He knew that it didn't matter whether the man said thank you or not, giving him water was the right thing to do.
I did not have my camera with me and unfortunately have no photographs to share. However, it is very likely I will run into this man again. Next time we'll take photos of and with him, and I'll give him the water I always have with me to share.
Don't hesitate. Throw some water in your car and help someone out. It feels surprisingly good. I'm still on a little high. :-)
Friday, September 3, 2010
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Back to School
It was back to school for me for the first time in many, many years in June. I would rather not age myself, so I won’t confess how far delayed this venture was. Regardless of this deferment of my college career, I was ecstatic to be going back. My efforts for summer quarter focused on two subjects I find tremendously interesting: Photography & Journalism (and their combine effort – Photojournalism).
Both classes were amazing! I know... amazing? Two accelerated courses while playing mommy and wife is amazing? Okay, I didn’t pull the wife part off that well. When I wasn’t dealing with the kids, reading, studying, eating, or writing a paper, I was sleeping. So you could say I more or less disappeared from hubby’s view for 6 weeks. There is no doubt it was challenging, but I was oozing eustress the whole quarter. Eustress? Yes, the good stress: stress that feels productive in the end; stress that leads to massive amounts of satisfaction when all is said and done. Eustress! And hey, hubby has forgiven me for neglecting him and still supports my going back to school. Win for Ami!
I was privileged to receive an assignment in my 35mm black and white photography course where I could tie-in a project I had already spent time working on as a personal, digital endeavor: social awareness. We were given an assignment to describe and execute 6-10 photos that depicted a passion of ours. Since my burgeoning passion is photojournalism, specifically social awareness, I opted to do a project on the homeless.
My first and most telling 35mm photo is that of “Marshaun.” I had previously taken a couple photos of him, however they were from a great distance. While powerful, they lacked soul; ultimately this type of depth is what I strive to capture. I felt extremely guilty after having taken those photos because I did so without his expressed permission. Not that I needed it, but I felt it was common courtesy to not only ask, but offer something in exchange.
Previous digital photos of Marshaun
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This time around, I had an offering for Marshaun. I brought my arsenal with me: water, crackers with cheese, plain crackers, and cookies. Usually I opt for something with peanut butter, but I was unable to find any at the store I had chosen.
I knew where Marshaun would be; he spends all his time around one area and is never hard to find. When I found him I swallowed my peculiar fear of rejection and walked up and asked if he was hungry. He responded with a smile, "Whatcha got?" I listed off what I thought were types of food he would eagerly accept. Instead, he declined my food but accepted my water. I (perhaps nervously) told him a bit about my project and asked if I could take his photo. With a slightly embarrassed smirk he replied, "No, no pictures." This "conversation" went back and forth for a minute. I made an effort to explain that the purpose of my work was to inspire people to reach out; I wanted to make sure he didn't feel ridiculed or as though I was trying to make a mockery. Finally, he agreed to allow me to take one photo... only if I provided him with a photo of myself. Perhaps he didn't know whom he was dealing with (or perhaps he did?), but I assured him I would get that photo, I would bring it to him, and he better hold up to his end of the bargain.
I know, most people find this incredibly creepy. But I honestly am not concerned about Marshaun trying to find me on the internet and pushing his cart full of belongings to my house to attack me. I went to my mom's house, found a photo online, printed it off and headed back to find him.
When I returned, Marshaun was in the bathroom washing up with soap and applying lotion. When he came out, I think he was a bit surprised to see me - maybe even pleasantly surprised. When he saw my picture, he agreed to let me take one photo as per our agreement. Because I was shooting film, I was really concerned I was going to destroy the shot. I was allowed only one, so I had to get it right. Thankfully, it came out great!
I really pushed to get a shot of Marshaun's cart, but there was clearly a great deal of shame attached to the cart for him. No amount of persuading was going to earn a photograph of the cart and I didn't want to disrespect his feelings, so I let it go.
I would have been quite happy to spend time with Marshaun and have a conversation, but he seemed eager to get into the shade and snooze. I thanked him for his generosity and was on my way.
My other 35mm photos are of less interest, but follow the same general theme. I find 35mm adds an element of depth to these photos that would not otherwise be achieved with digital. I only wish I had a darkroom in my house!
Since Marshaun was not willing to let me photograph his cart, I went ahead and found myself a cart elsewhere. They seem to be everywhere I turn now. I don't know if it is because I'm actually looking for them or if there is an increased influx of homeless as of late. Regardless, they always make me a little sad, even if they were perhaps simply used to get groceries home by someone who doesn't own a car.
This final photo is of the front entrance to the Bill Wilson Center. The Bill Wilson Center, "is committed to working with the community to ensure that every youth has access to the range of services needed to grow to be healthy and self-sufficient adults. Bill Wilson Center has been providing services to runaway and homeless youth since 1973." (http://www.billwilsoncenter.org/about/who.html)
I highly recommend checking out their site and learning more about what they do.
The Scoop
Every single person I know gives somehow. They donate throughout the year, have causes they work with regularly, or volunteer their time in various ways. I want to make very clear that this aspect of my photo-journalistic interest is not driven by any desire to make people feel guilty. I think we should all enjoy our life and our blessings. But as homelessness increases, I believe our ability to compassionately acknowledge those on the street decreases. Much like desensitization due to media, we become accustomed to seeing people on the street; the concept ceases to phase us.
My greatest, personal concern is for those who are mentally ill. Mental illness education is another passion of mine. Yes, a strange one, but for those who know me, it makes perfect sense. I've spent a good portion of the last 10 years researching various disorders. I believe strongly that with proper education and funding, the ill affects of mental illness socially and economically can be greatly reduced. According to the National Coalition for the Homeless, "Approximately 16% of the single adult homeless population suffers from some form of severe and persistent mental illness (U.S. Conference of Mayors, 2005)." Severe and persistant. So this number only accounts for those with schizoaffective disorders, schizophrenia, and severe bipolar disorders (there are many variations, not just one). This is not accounting for those with clinical depression and addiction issues (which are almost always a form of self-medicating another underlying mental health issue). In addition, "Department of Health and Human Services Report, most homeless persons with mental illness do not need to be institutionalized, but can live in the community with the appropriate supportive housing options (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2003). However, many mentally ill homeless people are unable to obtain access to supportive housing and/or other treatment services. The mental health support services most needed include case management, housing, and treatment." (http://www.nationalhomeless.org/factsheets/why.html).
It's all about truth
Photojournalism is designed to touch peoples lives through the truth that is an unaltered photograph. Unlike my photographs associated with my business where aspects may be edited out or changed, butterflies added to children's fingers, or funky editing painstakingly selected, the photos here will be far more "real." Sometimes they'll be fun, sometimes they'll be sad, and sometimes they'll just be plain photojournalist eye candy! Regardless I hope you enjoy the candy and find my essays food for your brain.
Both classes were amazing! I know... amazing? Two accelerated courses while playing mommy and wife is amazing? Okay, I didn’t pull the wife part off that well. When I wasn’t dealing with the kids, reading, studying, eating, or writing a paper, I was sleeping. So you could say I more or less disappeared from hubby’s view for 6 weeks. There is no doubt it was challenging, but I was oozing eustress the whole quarter. Eustress? Yes, the good stress: stress that feels productive in the end; stress that leads to massive amounts of satisfaction when all is said and done. Eustress! And hey, hubby has forgiven me for neglecting him and still supports my going back to school. Win for Ami!
I was privileged to receive an assignment in my 35mm black and white photography course where I could tie-in a project I had already spent time working on as a personal, digital endeavor: social awareness. We were given an assignment to describe and execute 6-10 photos that depicted a passion of ours. Since my burgeoning passion is photojournalism, specifically social awareness, I opted to do a project on the homeless.
My first and most telling 35mm photo is that of “Marshaun.” I had previously taken a couple photos of him, however they were from a great distance. While powerful, they lacked soul; ultimately this type of depth is what I strive to capture. I felt extremely guilty after having taken those photos because I did so without his expressed permission. Not that I needed it, but I felt it was common courtesy to not only ask, but offer something in exchange.
Previous digital photos of Marshaun
.jpg)
.jpg)
This time around, I had an offering for Marshaun. I brought my arsenal with me: water, crackers with cheese, plain crackers, and cookies. Usually I opt for something with peanut butter, but I was unable to find any at the store I had chosen.
I knew where Marshaun would be; he spends all his time around one area and is never hard to find. When I found him I swallowed my peculiar fear of rejection and walked up and asked if he was hungry. He responded with a smile, "Whatcha got?" I listed off what I thought were types of food he would eagerly accept. Instead, he declined my food but accepted my water. I (perhaps nervously) told him a bit about my project and asked if I could take his photo. With a slightly embarrassed smirk he replied, "No, no pictures." This "conversation" went back and forth for a minute. I made an effort to explain that the purpose of my work was to inspire people to reach out; I wanted to make sure he didn't feel ridiculed or as though I was trying to make a mockery. Finally, he agreed to allow me to take one photo... only if I provided him with a photo of myself. Perhaps he didn't know whom he was dealing with (or perhaps he did?), but I assured him I would get that photo, I would bring it to him, and he better hold up to his end of the bargain.
I know, most people find this incredibly creepy. But I honestly am not concerned about Marshaun trying to find me on the internet and pushing his cart full of belongings to my house to attack me. I went to my mom's house, found a photo online, printed it off and headed back to find him.
When I returned, Marshaun was in the bathroom washing up with soap and applying lotion. When he came out, I think he was a bit surprised to see me - maybe even pleasantly surprised. When he saw my picture, he agreed to let me take one photo as per our agreement. Because I was shooting film, I was really concerned I was going to destroy the shot. I was allowed only one, so I had to get it right. Thankfully, it came out great!
I really pushed to get a shot of Marshaun's cart, but there was clearly a great deal of shame attached to the cart for him. No amount of persuading was going to earn a photograph of the cart and I didn't want to disrespect his feelings, so I let it go.
I would have been quite happy to spend time with Marshaun and have a conversation, but he seemed eager to get into the shade and snooze. I thanked him for his generosity and was on my way.
My other 35mm photos are of less interest, but follow the same general theme. I find 35mm adds an element of depth to these photos that would not otherwise be achieved with digital. I only wish I had a darkroom in my house!
Since Marshaun was not willing to let me photograph his cart, I went ahead and found myself a cart elsewhere. They seem to be everywhere I turn now. I don't know if it is because I'm actually looking for them or if there is an increased influx of homeless as of late. Regardless, they always make me a little sad, even if they were perhaps simply used to get groceries home by someone who doesn't own a car.
This final photo is of the front entrance to the Bill Wilson Center. The Bill Wilson Center, "is committed to working with the community to ensure that every youth has access to the range of services needed to grow to be healthy and self-sufficient adults. Bill Wilson Center has been providing services to runaway and homeless youth since 1973." (http://www.billwilsoncenter.org/about/who.html)
I highly recommend checking out their site and learning more about what they do.
The Scoop
Every single person I know gives somehow. They donate throughout the year, have causes they work with regularly, or volunteer their time in various ways. I want to make very clear that this aspect of my photo-journalistic interest is not driven by any desire to make people feel guilty. I think we should all enjoy our life and our blessings. But as homelessness increases, I believe our ability to compassionately acknowledge those on the street decreases. Much like desensitization due to media, we become accustomed to seeing people on the street; the concept ceases to phase us.
My greatest, personal concern is for those who are mentally ill. Mental illness education is another passion of mine. Yes, a strange one, but for those who know me, it makes perfect sense. I've spent a good portion of the last 10 years researching various disorders. I believe strongly that with proper education and funding, the ill affects of mental illness socially and economically can be greatly reduced. According to the National Coalition for the Homeless, "Approximately 16% of the single adult homeless population suffers from some form of severe and persistent mental illness (U.S. Conference of Mayors, 2005)." Severe and persistant. So this number only accounts for those with schizoaffective disorders, schizophrenia, and severe bipolar disorders (there are many variations, not just one). This is not accounting for those with clinical depression and addiction issues (which are almost always a form of self-medicating another underlying mental health issue). In addition, "Department of Health and Human Services Report, most homeless persons with mental illness do not need to be institutionalized, but can live in the community with the appropriate supportive housing options (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2003). However, many mentally ill homeless people are unable to obtain access to supportive housing and/or other treatment services. The mental health support services most needed include case management, housing, and treatment." (http://www.nationalhomeless.org/factsheets/why.html).
It's all about truth
Photojournalism is designed to touch peoples lives through the truth that is an unaltered photograph. Unlike my photographs associated with my business where aspects may be edited out or changed, butterflies added to children's fingers, or funky editing painstakingly selected, the photos here will be far more "real." Sometimes they'll be fun, sometimes they'll be sad, and sometimes they'll just be plain photojournalist eye candy! Regardless I hope you enjoy the candy and find my essays food for your brain.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
REVISIT with Chris "Catman" Jones
I met up with Chris today to deliver cat food purchased so kindly by a fan of my Facebook fan page. She was so touched by Chris' story, she felt compelled to help and sent me money to buy him food for the many cats he cares for. This gesture really enforced the power of the internet; Amber is all the way in Michigan, yet she was able to see a face, read a story, and sympathize with a real human being and his animals all the way from the other side of the country! I know Chris is incredibly grateful for her generosity and so am I. What a sweet, sweet person!
When I met Chris in the parking lot where we had taken our first photos, he was walking with two kittens on his shoulders as you see below. I couldn't resist taking out my camera and snapping a few shots! Callum was a little shy of them at first but was delighted when Chris brought out the near newborns in the third photo.
According to Chris, he had seventeen (yes, that's right, SEVENTEEN!) kittens in the carrier in his Jeep. He brought them down so he could keep an eye on them as he was concerned what the male cats would do while he was away. A neighbor abandoned more cats with him and with another female with kittens on the way, he will be overloaded soon.
When I asked him if he had enough to eat that night, he shuffled around the question and reverted back to making sure the animals ate first. I couldn't leave without giving him something and thankfully I still had food specifically for this project in the back of my car. I left him with some tuna salad (non-perishable), another loaf of bread, and some waters.
I let him know that I'll keep in contact, and if anyone else decides to make a donation, I'll make sure to gets it to him!
When I met Chris in the parking lot where we had taken our first photos, he was walking with two kittens on his shoulders as you see below. I couldn't resist taking out my camera and snapping a few shots! Callum was a little shy of them at first but was delighted when Chris brought out the near newborns in the third photo.
According to Chris, he had seventeen (yes, that's right, SEVENTEEN!) kittens in the carrier in his Jeep. He brought them down so he could keep an eye on them as he was concerned what the male cats would do while he was away. A neighbor abandoned more cats with him and with another female with kittens on the way, he will be overloaded soon.
When I asked him if he had enough to eat that night, he shuffled around the question and reverted back to making sure the animals ate first. I couldn't leave without giving him something and thankfully I still had food specifically for this project in the back of my car. I left him with some tuna salad (non-perishable), another loaf of bread, and some waters.
I let him know that I'll keep in contact, and if anyone else decides to make a donation, I'll make sure to gets it to him!
Friday, April 16, 2010
Chris "Catman" Jones
Chris "Catman" Jones
I had seen Chris once or twice on a corner somewhat near my home and had wondered what his story was. His sign did not ask for food or money but rather work as a mechanic.
Today I stocked my car up with foods that would be handy (and inexpensive) to give away to homeless folks/people in need in exchange for my taking a picture (or two, or four, or six!). I saw Chris and passed him on the opposite side of the street on our way back from the store. I had about one second of hesitation before I turned my car around and drove up next to him in the driveway of a local paint store. Nervously, I asked, "Would you like some food?" His response actually surprised me: "Do you have food that my dogs could eat?" This threw me off a bit, so I went on to explain exactly what I was doing.
While Chris seemed slightly hesitant at first, he agreed to allow me to take a photo if I snapped one of him with his dog. I agreed, "No problem." I followed him to his jeep, handed him a loaf of bread and a container of peanut butter, and shot away.
After the photos, the conversation started to flow (while my poor kids sat in the car, patiently... for awhile). Chris had multiple dogs in his car which would be the reason that Callum did not want to get out. The next photo in this series shows him with the smallest dog. There was also what looked to be a collie or some sort (border or otherwise) along with a pit bull.
The dogs are what really opened up the conversation. I had asked if he badly needed food for the dogs. He replied that what he really needed was cat food (a local pet store donates dog food occasionally). He went on to explain that he had a now somewhat defunct abused animal shelter in the Santa Cruz Mountains. The Summit Fire in 2008 destroyed everything he had and killed most of the animals, as well as destroying his home and the shelter. What animals have remained he still cares for and has provided them with some shelter he built himself. He also has a trailer on the property where he lives.
When I tried to divert the conversation to him and HIS needs, he always seemed to direct back to the animals. Although he did state something along the lines of, "The dogs know when I'm cranky that I didn't get a plate that night."
Chris' main request was cat food. I know, you would think he would be wanting all sorts of other things. Obviously work would be good too.
For those who are local, if you would like to donate cat food to him, he has been on the corner of San Tomas Aquino and Campbell Ave. lately.
He does have a phone number (likely one you recharge with minutes periodically), so if you want to contact him regarding food for the animals, you can.
Lastly, I was able to corroborate his story and found this photo from after the fire online here.
I had seen Chris once or twice on a corner somewhat near my home and had wondered what his story was. His sign did not ask for food or money but rather work as a mechanic.
Today I stocked my car up with foods that would be handy (and inexpensive) to give away to homeless folks/people in need in exchange for my taking a picture (or two, or four, or six!). I saw Chris and passed him on the opposite side of the street on our way back from the store. I had about one second of hesitation before I turned my car around and drove up next to him in the driveway of a local paint store. Nervously, I asked, "Would you like some food?" His response actually surprised me: "Do you have food that my dogs could eat?" This threw me off a bit, so I went on to explain exactly what I was doing.
While Chris seemed slightly hesitant at first, he agreed to allow me to take a photo if I snapped one of him with his dog. I agreed, "No problem." I followed him to his jeep, handed him a loaf of bread and a container of peanut butter, and shot away.
After the photos, the conversation started to flow (while my poor kids sat in the car, patiently... for awhile). Chris had multiple dogs in his car which would be the reason that Callum did not want to get out. The next photo in this series shows him with the smallest dog. There was also what looked to be a collie or some sort (border or otherwise) along with a pit bull.
The dogs are what really opened up the conversation. I had asked if he badly needed food for the dogs. He replied that what he really needed was cat food (a local pet store donates dog food occasionally). He went on to explain that he had a now somewhat defunct abused animal shelter in the Santa Cruz Mountains. The Summit Fire in 2008 destroyed everything he had and killed most of the animals, as well as destroying his home and the shelter. What animals have remained he still cares for and has provided them with some shelter he built himself. He also has a trailer on the property where he lives.
When I tried to divert the conversation to him and HIS needs, he always seemed to direct back to the animals. Although he did state something along the lines of, "The dogs know when I'm cranky that I didn't get a plate that night."
Chris' main request was cat food. I know, you would think he would be wanting all sorts of other things. Obviously work would be good too.
For those who are local, if you would like to donate cat food to him, he has been on the corner of San Tomas Aquino and Campbell Ave. lately.
He does have a phone number (likely one you recharge with minutes periodically), so if you want to contact him regarding food for the animals, you can.
Lastly, I was able to corroborate his story and found this photo from after the fire online here.
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