Today I met a man who could have been Marshaun's brother. This man's skin was darkened solely by prolonged sun exposure, however, and looked similar to well-worn leather. His nails were longer than mine have ever been and looked surprisingly thick and strong. He was wrapped in the same fashion as Marshaun; layer upon layer upon layer of tattered gray and black clothing hugged his body as he sweat profusely.
I was at Campbell Park with the boys. As they ran back and forth through the refreshing spray of the water feature, I stared at this man, contemplating in my head whether or not he looked like a threat. Could I go up to him with my children or would the scary man run after us? It didn't take me long to come to the conclusion that, once again, I was making a snap judgment based on what society had taught me growing up. This is what a scary person looks like. This is what a crazy person looks like. This is what a man who intends to harm you looks like. The fact of the matter is, the people who want to harm you often look as benign as your own mother. A person's appearance doesn't determine how they behave.
As soon as I got over myself, I went to my car and grabbed water and snacks and piled them into an empty Trader Joe's kettle corn bag. The kids and I walked over to the man - cautiously (I guess it's a mom thing - I can't shake it!). I noticed him staring off into space and of course created all sorts of ideas in my head as to how he would react to our offer. Surprisingly - or not so surprisingly - we were greeted with a huge grin and articulate conversation.
Like Marshaun, this man declined my sugary snacks. It made me realize that those who have been forced to fend for themselves on the streets for a great deal of time likely have a better sense and understanding of nutrition than your average American; I also realized I need to rethink my snack options! He accepted the kettle corn because even though it contained sugar and salt, it still had decent nutritional content due to the corn. My other snacks were laden with sodium which is obviously not ideal during heat waves or what is shaping up to be an Indian Summer. What he really wanted was water. When he saw the three bottles of water I had to offer, his eyes lit up and he stated, "All I want in life right now is water." Enough said. The boys and I went back to my car to fetch more water for him.
When we went back, I asked Callum to carry one of the bottles and hand it to him. I wanted to instill in him that simply because this man looks different than much of society, that doesn't make him scary. We've tried to teach Callum that the old, white man a couple doors down that drives the taxi is scary... because he is. He is a sex offender with two offenses against children. He looks like your friend's dad. He is the benign-looking one who really does want to harm you. This man with his tattered clothing, sad eyes, and shopping cart full of plastic bags - the one who truly needs compassion from society - is not scary. I was proud to see this 4 year old who is notoriously fearful of so many things simply hand this man a bottle of water without hesitation.
As I was loading the kids into the car, a woman stopped to tell me how happy she was to see us providing the man with water. She had wanted to do the same, but did not have any water with her. I let her know that I always have water in my car with me and snacks for situations such as this; the statement was not a matter of trying to sound self-important, but rather a desire to pass along the concept to someone else.
On the car ride home, I made a point of telling Callum what a great thing he had done by handing the man (who remains nameless simply because I never asked his name) a bottle of water. His response was so simple, yet so meaningful as are so many words spoken by children. With elation, Callum stated, "He even said thank you when I handed him the water!" I believe you should do nice things without expecting anything in return. The fact that he was so pleased that the man said thank you made me smile. He knew that it didn't matter whether the man said thank you or not, giving him water was the right thing to do.
I did not have my camera with me and unfortunately have no photographs to share. However, it is very likely I will run into this man again. Next time we'll take photos of and with him, and I'll give him the water I always have with me to share.
Don't hesitate. Throw some water in your car and help someone out. It feels surprisingly good. I'm still on a little high. :-)
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